Friday, October 30, 2009


There's a lot of litter here in Maine. I mean A LOT. It can never understand the rationale behind, “I'm done with this, I'm just going to throw it out the window.” And how can you not understand the bottle deposit rules? You buy your tall boy at the gas station, they charge you an extra 5 cents and when you're done, you throw that in the woods? That's like throwing a nickel in the garbage.

So I decided to try and up my Maine karma (and crotchety-old-lady-in-training status) another quart by giving a little purpose to my morning walks and doing a little litter removal. I needed just the right tool, because while I may be simplified, I may be minimalized, I sure as hell ain't touching the McDonald's cup you used as a spittoon, mister. Enter, THE GOPHER™. You know those deelies that old ladies use to get cereal off the top shelf at the grocery store? (Endorsed by the late-great Billy Mays himself!) Perfect for picking up 75 empty cigarette boxes without having to resort to the old “nail on a stick trick”. I'm just wondering how many bags of trash I have to pick up to undo the guilt that I had to go to Wal*Mart to get it!

**Note, “The Gopher” is no longer available, but “The Reacher” (it "Reaches So You Dont [sic] Have To") is…and they're exactly the same product. I smell drama here…

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